This cute fury rabbit like thing, with scary felt fangs, isn’t exactly a ‘race-beast’ but that’s the name on the label, so there.

It/he/she stands about 25cm tall and will certainly look good in anyone’s bar, or perhaps just as a caring gift for the kids? Who will then let the dog have it and turn it into a pile of white foam stuffing? So it might pay to choose the recipient wisely?

Race-beast does look sad though because ‘it’s’ in jail, so go rescue ‘it’ today and feel proud of yourself?

Price: R430 plus 10% discount if you say you saw if here.

Call RAD Moto (011 608 3006) or go to www.radmoto.co.za

It’s starting to get a bit chilly out there so why not buy one of these top quality items and keep your core temperature more acceptable?

KTM clothing is always made to high standards and these four offerings are of no exception. You can choose from a modern day orange item, to a nice blue one for the gals, or even the two retro hoodys for the old gits who reminisce over the days of twin-shock off-road machines. Either way you can guarantee these won’t fall to pieces and only fit an action figure after the first three washes.

Price: All around a R1,000 but if you tell them you saw these on billysbikes.co.za you’ll immediately get a 10% discount, how nice of RAD.

Call: RAD Moto (011 608 3006) or go to www.radmoto.co.za

Some gloves look so cool that you just want to own them, and this has to be the case with the SP-X.

Alpinestars say they’re for sport riding, whatever that means, and perhaps they’re even suitable for a horse ride, neigh?

The SP-X is made from nice smelling full grain leather and synthetic suede is used on the palm. Good ol’ carbon is used across the knuckles and fingers and hefty padding is found around the wrist area, with loads of flashy logos all over the place.

Bill thinks they’re the business because they’re in the same colours of his glorious Nottingham Forest football team, whoever they are?

Price: R1,495     Log on to www.langstonmotorsports.co.za  to find your nearest Alpinestars dealer.

How many hours of fun could one possibly have playing with this brand name?

But it is a serious item because it’s claimed to clean any bike in an effortless manner. Just spray on your Dirt Nurse, wait a few minutes and rinse off, simple as that.

Dirt Nurse is also eco-friendly and doesn’t leave behind excessive staining and unpleasant residues. And it’s pink.

If you read this again we think we’ve just described something titillating and perhaps slightly arousing. So why not use it in the bath as well, then tell everyone what you’ve used to ‘thoroughly’ clean yourself, or maybe not?

Price: R68-50 for two litres    Call: DNA motorcycles (011 472 6434) or try www.dnamotorcycles.co.za for more fun cleaning products.