Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him R50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, ‘No, the steaks are too high.’

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, ‘I was artificially inseminated this morning.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ said Dolly.

‘It’s true, straight up, no bull!’

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I’m coming down with something.

Sally: Why are you wearing garlic around your neck?

Jim: It keeps away vampires.

Sally: But there are no vampires.

Jim: See, it works.

A ghost walks into a bar.

‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits in here,’ says the bartender.

Once there was a boy named Odd. He had the piss taken out of him his whole life, because of his name. But he grew up to be a very successful businessman.

When he was about to die, he said, ‘I’ve been teased my whole life and I don’t want that after I’m dead, so don’t put my name on my gravestone.’

After Odd died, people saw his blank tombstone and said,’ That’s odd.’

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thinking to myself, ‘Where the hell is the ceiling?’

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

‘I think I’ve lost an electron,’ says one.

‘Are you sure?’ asks the second.

‘Yes, I’m positive.’

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.

He says ‘Pint please, and one for the road.’