10 facts that every man should know about women.
1: ‘Oh, nothing’, has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
2: Only women understand the reason for ‘guest towels’ and the ‘good china’.
3: Women do not want an honest answer to the question, ‘How do I look?’
4: PMS really stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter, Preposterous Mood Swings or Punish My Spouse.
5: Men can never catch women checking out other men; but women will always catch men checking out other women.
6: Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
7: All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the rubbish, and picking up the check.
8: Women never check to see if the seat in the toilet is down. They seem to prefer a flying butt leap towards the bowl, and then become enraged because ‘you left the seat up’ instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
9: Women can’t use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
10: Women don’t really care about a sense of humour in a guy, despite claims to the contrary. You don’t see women trampling over Brad Pitt to get to Danny DeVito, do you?
Bonus giggle:
A Triumph bike rider walked into a chemist shop in Brisbane, and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The middle aged woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and that as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.
She then asked if she could help him. The biker said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The biker then agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a... permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it."The pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my sister.”
When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length, and absolute best we can do is:
1/3 ownership in the shop…
A company car…
Five home cooked dinners a week…
And $3,000 a month in living expenses.”
