My friend has just opened a dairy produce shop in Israel.
He’s called it Cheeses of Nazareth.
A salmon fisherman was out on the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make it to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find. When a coastguard finally rescued him, he noticed there was a fire pit with feathers of a protected bird scattered around it.
‘You know, it’s illegal to kill a California condor, I’m afraid I’m going to have to arrest you,’ he said.
The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve. Eventually the coastguard took pity on him and let him off.
‘Out of curiosity,’ the coastguard asked,’ what did it taste like?’
‘Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald headed eagle.’
How does the All Blacks rugby team practice safe sex?
They paint an X on the back of the sheep that kick.
Why do Greeks wear thick gold chains?
So they know where to stop shaving.
What do you call an Arab hairdresser?
Ali Barber.
What do you call a Lebanese baby?
Kebub.
How do you make a Lebanese baby shut up?
Shush Kebub.
What do you call three massive Dutchmen in the sauna?
Gorillas in the mist.
Proof that Jesus was black:
1: He called everybody brother.
2: He liked Gospel.
3: He couldn’t get a fair trial.
Mick and Paddy were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground.
Mick picked it up and said to Paddy, ‘Shit, that looks like Sean!’
‘No Sean was taller than that,’ said Paddy.
