19 paddies go to the cinema , the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies , "The film said 18 or over."
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world , swum with sharks , wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.
Man walks into a butcher’s and says have you got a sheep’s head? Butchers replies, “no it’s just the way I part my hair.”
Irishman takes his goldfish to the vet and says it’s got epilepsy. The vet says it looks calm enough to him. Irishman replies, I haven’t taken it out of the f**kin’ bowl yet!
Sex at 75! I just took a leaflet out of my letterbox telling me that I can have sex at 75! I’m so happy because I live at 67 so it’s not far to walk home afterwards.
An Indian builder was killed in a roof collapse during the construction of a Lionel Richie concert. A witness said the last thing he saw was Dan Singh on the ceiling.
Woman says to husband, you only ever want sex when you’re pissed. Husband replies, that’s not true sometimes I want a kebab.
That Alzheimer’s joke you just sent me was brilliant!
