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Giggles 31

A  mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... 
"Try doing it with the engine running."

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They have just found a cure for Parkinson’s disease, they give you Alzheimer’s so you forget to shake.

What is the hardest part of a cabbage to eat ?. His wheelchair.

Quasimodo the hunchback never ever had sex, all he did was to swing on the bells for the tourists. A famous actress comes to town and agrees to help Quasimodo, “come to my hotel room to-night 8.00pm and I’ll help you”.

“Okay” replies Quasimodo

Eight o clock arrives, and Quasimodo rips off all her clothes, does the deed and falls fast asleep. The actress stands up and is violently sick all over him and staggers off to the next room to sleep it off.

“ Jesus Christ what the hell is this stuff all over me ? ” asks Quasimodo when he wakes up.

Calm yourself, calm yourself, after you had your evil way with me last night, I was sick all over you’.

“Thank God for that” replied Quasimodo “ I thought my hump had burst”.

 

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My dog's secret...

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head...

I think my dog is an ANC member.

 

 

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